Why Apologies Fail with Adult Children

According to mental health expert Jeffrey Bernstein, frequent repeated apologies from parents to their adult children often do not lead to the desired closeness but instead deepen the gap between them. He explained that an effective apology should be brief, non-defensive, not include any demands in return, and be delivered in a manner appropriate to the adult child's readiness. The focus should be on genuinely acknowledging the mistake without justifications or explanations aimed at self-justification, and timing should be appropriate. Instead of repeating apologies, Bernstein advises demonstrating genuine and ongoing change, allowing the adult child to decide when to trust these changes.

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